I’ve been a Mummy for 12 weeks now. Life has changed. Paul and I have settled into life as parents and it seems we’re getting the hang of things. During those 12 weeks we’ve been out and about quite a bit. Mainly because I’m determined to keep active and lose the extra weight I gained from pregnancy. Well, that and because sitting in the house all day leaves me searching cupboards for goodies to stuff my face with. Last week I actually at a chocolate reindeer I had left over from Christmas. I didn’t even check the date on it, I just ate it because I found it 😂 Anyways, shame aside while getting out and about I’ve noticed things have changed since becoming a Mum….
Having a pram seems to make you a target. A target for everyday idle chit chatter. Apparently Mums are somehow deemed as more approachable. Not that I mind having a little natter. I don’t however want your entire life stories thrown into that natter 🤦🏼♀️. Don’t believe me?! I was shopping in boots a few weeks back. I was trying to get down an aisle but there was an old lady at one side with a walker coming the other way. I swerved right to let her carryon, she went right too. I swerved left, she did the same. So I smiled and told her I’d stay put so she could pass. She didn’t pass by without asking for a peep at baby though…nothing out of the ordinary, right?!…wrong! That lady then asked all manor of questions about Raeya before telling me her granddaughter was pregnant but lost the baby at 8 months, how she herself was born prematurely and the doctors didn’t think she’d survive but her Dad insisted that she went home from the hospital, he’d then instructed her Mum to stay with her until he she was ok and how 3 months later she was right as rain and her Dad was right…..see! All that was simply because I’d tried to be polite. Well Doris (I don’t actually know her name but she looked like a Doris) that’s all lovely, but why on earth did I need to know all that?! Now before anyone jumps down my throat and reminds me that she was an old lady and I might have been the only person she spoke to that day, I really do appreciate that, but also ask why did she choose me?! I’ll bloomin tell you why…the pramtarget!
Something else I’ve noticed about pushing a pram…the glance back! This is somewhat a new form of entertainment for Paul and I. When we’re out we now play “guess the glancer” (terrible as that is, it’s also hilarious 🤷🏼♀️). It’s not just us it happens to either, I like to stop by the Minster when I’m in the city centre and park my bottom with a drink (alright a snack) and watch the world go by. I can sit and watch other people experiencing the glanceback. So what’s the glanceback?! Well, next time you’re out and about with your gorgeous little bubba in the pram/pushchair, watch what the people going in the opposite direction do. I’m willing to bet you a bag of Cadbury’s chocolate buttons you’ll notice people looking back to see if they can see the baby 😂 Yep that’s right, the glanceback is about people being nosey buggers! If you ever do decide to join our game playing, I’ll give you a hint too. It’s not just the old ladies that do it. I once caught a very handsome looking guy in a suit carrying out the glanceback…I’d like to think he was looking at me but in reality I know it was the pram 🙄.
One of the most random things I’ve noticed since becoming a Mum is people’s obsession with asking if Raeyas a “good baby”. Not really anything wrong with this, but because I’m a bit of a sarcastic cow I’m always wanting to say “no I had to pick her up from the police station this morning for joyriding” 😂 However as 95% of the time it’s strangers that ask this question they’d probably just give me nod and pass along….maybe this would stop me getting the life stories?! So instead I just say yes and hope they don’t ask anything else. Realistically though it’s a question I’ve always struggled with. What are they expecting the answer to be?! What exactly do they constitute a bad baby to be?! In all honesty I got lucky with Raeya. She’s an easy baby, she’s not a screamer, she sleeps through the night and is predominantly a delight. Does this make her good?! In my opinion, I just class it as easy. What parent is going to say they have a bad baby when asked that question?! Even if Raeya wasn’t all those things I wouldn’t class her as bad. So people of the world who ask this question, please think about what you’re asking. How would you answer it?!
As a first time mum I’ve also developed a new sense of understanding for other Mummies. It’s like I’ve suddenly joined a secret club that you can only be part of if you understand the strugggles 😂 and there are many struggles. Where can I go to eat for lunch in the centre of a city with a pram?! Where can I change my child at short notice because of a poonami?! Will there be space on the bus for my pram or should I just walk it?! How on earth can I fit my pram through that gap?! Why is it always my child that pees on the scales when getting them weighed?! But no matter where you are or what you’re thinking, take a look around. If there’s another Mummy near by you’ll no doubt find you get an understanding nod of the head…that simple acknowledgement that says “I feel your pain”. That nod that I now find myself giving…it’s odd how quickly we show empathy when we’re in the same position.
The thing I’ve learnt most though is no matter what your day brings or how much life has changed, be grateful that you get to experience it all. Yes, that even includes listening to Doris talk away about things you don’t need or want to know. Be grateful for your pramtarget!
Also, please feel free to message me for my address to send the chocolate buttons to 😉